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How gamers will survive the zombie apocalypse

We’ve all played our fair share of video games set in or after the zombie apocalypse, but what survival techniques have they taught us? Here are Phil’s top tips to outlast the undead hordes.


Phil says…

Zombies come in various types, with most being slow and cumbersome that don’t pose a great threat until you’re cornered or surrounded without a weapon to defend yourself. We’ve also been introduced to ‘infected’ which differ from zombies because they aren’t dead yet; instead they’re people enraged by the human form of rabies and set on ripping apart anything that moves. Whichever outbreak has begun to tear apart the world as we know it, these tips should cater for all cases.

Soon hardcore gamers will rule the world thanks to the decades of training provided in the form of video games, leaving the average Joe to perish. Be sure to study these lessons and prepare yourself for when that fatal day finally approaches.

1. Aim for the head – preferably with a shotgun

Pretty much any zombie game teaches this important tip: whether you’re slicing them in half with a chainsaw or dropping infected one bullet at a time, it’s very important use your weapons efficiently and aim for the head. Make no mistake, that the one time you don’t stick to this rule you’ll fall victim to that fatal bite once your back is turned.

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2. Anything can be used as a weapon

Thanks to games such as Dead Rising we’ve learnt that pretty much any object can be used as a weapon. This includes household items such as brooms, kitchenware, furniture and even musical instruments such as a electric guitar. Near the sea in Dead Island we’ve slaughtered zombies with paddles and wooden planks, although they don’t tend to be as durable and break quickly.

Realising this can help you stockpile enough defensive weapons to guard your fortified house or silently clear an area of ankle-dragging reanimated corpses which leads us on to our next tip.

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3. It’s better to hide than fight

During The Last of Us we spent the entire game learning the benefit or remaining silent and stealthily removing the infected from your path. Combine this with the tip above to position yourself carefully for that shiv to the neck once the zombie gets close enough.

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4. People are as much of a threat as zombies

DayZ has taught us that people will do anything to survive even if that means killing others to loot their weapons and supplies. Sure, working together can be beneficial but other games such as The Walking Dead prove that groups of people tend to attract attention and can make mistakes that often mean someone is going to die. Left 4 Dead is another example so it seems better to go it alone where possible.

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5. Stay out of the cities

To reduce the risk of falling foul to the above lesson, the Resident Evil series has taught us repeatedly about the risks of urban areas which host the highest density of zombies. Should you find yourself in the middle of town when hell opens its doors be sure to get out of there as soon as possible. Even if you manage to survive within city limits you’re still at risk of being blown up should the remaining authorities decide to flatten the area with a nuclear weapon, something that the Umbrella Corporation has been known to do. Speaking of which…

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6. It’s always the fault of a pharmaceutical conglomerate

There’s always someone to blame for life’s atrocities and when it comes to a zombie apocalypse, it’s usually down to a bunch of scientists creating biological weapons that are mistakenly unleashed. By the time the news of a zombie outbreak reaches you it’s probably too late to grab your pitchforks and take revenge so just sit back, relax and wait for that nuclear bomb to wash everything away. If you chose to escape the city however, try considering the next tip.

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7. Killer plants are an effective form of defense

If it wasn’t for Plants vs Zombies we would never know how useful a household plant can be for defense once it has been mutated. Not even zombies with traffic cones on their heads can penetrate a garden filled with strategically placed pea-shooting flowers. I’ll admit this one is quite unlikely but as weapons degrade and ammo depletes, we’ll need to find a renewable source of destructive firepower and killer plants may be the key.

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8. The zombies just keep on coming

If one lesson has come from Call of Duty’s zombie mode it’s that they never stop coming – ever. The quicker you can come to terms with that the more attention you can put towards surviving. As long as there are people living and breathing there will be more zombies, so take all of our lessons from today and get far away from anywhere else and find a place to live in peace.

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So there you have it: thanks to video games we’re more educated than ever about survival during a zombie apocalypse. There’s bound to other lessons that I’ve missed so be sure to leave us a comment below with your own examples. Stay safe out there!

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